I started reading Phantasies by George MacDonald because I had heard a lot about it. I can’t really remember if what I had heard was good or bad now that I think about it. I had started reading George MacDonald’s writing because C.S. Lewis loved it so much and I love C.S. Lewis’ writing. When I sat down to read this book I expected it to be light and easy like The Princess and the Goblin. Boy, was I surprised!
This book is a fairytale in the fact that it has all the fairy creatures and takes place mostly in fairyland, but it is not for children. There is nothing gruesome or dark, but the emotions are so complicated and intense that I can’t imagine a child understanding it. The main character, Anodos, journeys through fairyland right after his 21st birthday. That is the plot. That’s it. He meets all sorts of creatures and adventures, but his greatest enemy is his own shadow. It is a heartbreaking tale about loving without being loved in return.
As I read this book, all I saw was my four years in Scotland and my heart ached in ways that happen when a dear loved one passes away. I saw the friends I loved and the heartbreaks of intense loss. I saw the castles, cottages, and country lanes that I enjoyed walking on. I saw adventures and survival. When I was done with the book, I felt like I wept through the whole thing even though I never cried. The highs and lows of the emotions of the main character seemed extreme in some ways, but I still felt it deeply. I understood the shadow for what it was. We are often our own enemy to destroy the very things that would help us the most and to steal the joys that would make life more bearable. I guess my fairyland maybe a real place and time even though for many people, it may be just an emotional or spiritual journey. I also understand the ending and the continual expectation that fairyland will intrude on reality, but finding that it never does. There is a mix of relief and despair in that.
I appreciate this book deeply, but there are few people who I would recommend it to. It does not have a happily ever after ending. I typically would never pick up a book that ends like this, but the poetry and ideas of this story have made me a better person. It is full of adventures and battles. It has trials and mysterious places. It does have love as well. It is not an allegory and it doesn’t speak about God. It is more about our humanity with the birth and death of dreams. It is about living life for some purpose greater than ourselves. It is about the death of our selfish pride and arrogant self-importance. I still feel like I am grieving.
If you can bear it, read it. If you can’t, then you won’t enjoy it. It is the kind of book that makes me want to write poetry or just stare at the ocean and contemplate the meaning of life. It is a book that deeply changed me, but I have run out of words to try an articulate how.
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