Lara's Wanderings

Ephesians 6:10 (NIV) “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.”

Ephesians 6:14-17 (NIV) “Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,  and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Psalm 144:1 (NIV) “Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.”

I love to slay dragons.

At least that is what my Meyers-Briggs personality test says of me. It also says that the few people with my personality type tend to be dictators of small countries. I tell people that instead of conquering a small country, I invent them for my books. I also invent a narrative for my life that includes slaying dragons.

A dragon, for me, is one of those challenging tasks that we all face that make us not want to get out of bed in the morning. For me, I whine and groan and then pull on my emotional armor so I can get to battle. Once engaged with the problem, I get an emotional high akin to an athlete scoring a critical point for their team. This tendency toward dragon-slaying also makes me a list maker. The thrill of crossing off an item from my to-do list feels like hanging a dragon pelt from my belt. I love it.

The problem with dragon-slaying is that they tend to fight back–the dragons I mean. I am constantly complaining about getting “zapped” whenever I do the wrong thing or miscalculate a problem. This happens a lot and sometimes in the oddest way.

An example of this is when we were trying to move back to the US from Scotland. Because we were broke, we had to arrange the shipping of our few belongings in the cheapest way possible, which means weeks on a ship. Some of our things had gotten damp from sailing over the Atlantic when we had first arrived in Scotland. Luckily, Kerry’s desktop computer was not one of them. Remembering this, though, I was worried about shipping his computer back. I discovered that the best thing would be to have some sort of trunk or case for the computer, but his computer was huge and oddly shaped for a traditional trunk. The kind of case we would need costed hundreds of dollars.

At that time, I was a fan of eBay so I could buy baby things for my oldest son. I decided to search eBay for a few weeks to see what I could find. Lo and behold! I found a trunk the exact right size and for only £1.50 ($3)! We didn’t own a car in Scotland because Edinburgh was very walkable, and this trunk was just a couple of miles away too.

My husband has learned just to let me go with my wild ideas, so he stayed with my son as I set out in the icy snow to go collect my beloved trunk. Not once in my walk did I imagine any problem with my idea whatsoever.

I arrived at the large house in an expensive neighborhood. I paid the kind gentleman his money and picked up the truck to head home. He looked at me strangely and then looked past me as though trying to spot my car. He said nothing, though. It only took me to the end of the driveway to realize my problem. The trunk was made of wood, 30 inches tall, 30 inches wide, and 18 inches deep. I am 62 inches tall. Do you see the problem? The trunk was heavy and half as tall as me.

I slipped and skidded down the icy sidewalk, lugging the trunk with me, until my arms hurt. Passersby stared at me as though I had lost my mind. Every few yards, I put the trunk down and sat on it to rest. I only made it halfway home before I realized I couldn’t do it alone.

I think most people would have figured that out a mile ago, but I am one of those stubborn types. I like fighting my own battles and slaying my own dragons. This was MY dragon. I wanted to kill it. Have you ever felt like that in your spiritual life? I do ALL of the time!

I eventually called my husband to come and help me. He told me afterward that when he was bundling up my son, he told my son they needed to go rescue Mommy… again.

This is a true statement. I have a tendency to get into trouble in the Anne of Green Gables sorts of ways. That’s why my husband loves me!

So, he put my son in a stroller and set out in the snow to get me. Meanwhile, I continued to struggle along the icy sidewalk with the trunk, irritated at not being able to do it myself and feeling embarrassed at not seeing this problem earlier. My husband met me about a half-mile from our apartment/flat, and we switched places. He picked up the trunk with ease, and I pushed the stroller back to our home.

We still have the trunk, and we still use it in all of our moves for the computer. It’s a slain dragon. I got what I wanted in the end, but I had to let someone else help me.

Our spiritual battles are not meant to be fought alone. The spiritual armor listed above is deceptive in seeming like we should be equipped to fight this battle ourselves, but where does truth come from? God. What about the gospel of peace? Jesus. What about the sword of the Spirit and the word of God? From the work of the Holy Spirit. Without dependence on God, we are just naked dragon slayers. We can’t do it alone.

We often forget God in the equation of daily battles and hardships. It may not be consciously, but often we set out to fix our problems and leave God behind. He is the one who equips us for battle, and he is our strength in hardship (1 John 4:4). Without prayer, we are like naked dragon-slayers. We need the armor of God. We need God-given power. Be careful; those dragons breathe fire. They have a way of zapping you when you are alone and bare.

Part of the problem with asking God for help is that it is embarrassing. To invite someone to fix a mistake you have already created is even worse. As a fantasy writer, I have noticed that we like perfect dragon-slayers who are the prophesied saviors of the world. Do they have bad vision? No. Crooked teeth? No. Lame? Blind? Mute? Short? Fat? Ugly? Nope. The writer will often create a fake flaw “I’m too young. I am just a farmer. I have bad parents. I’m an orphan.”, but these flaws really don’t require the dragon-slayer to ask for help. Instead, everyone in the book depends on the hero to fix everything. To say we can’t flies in the face of our “you can do anything” society. What if you can’t do anything? What if you aren’t strong enough? What if those dragons in life have already beat you up? What if you are wounded, scared, or tired?

In this way, being a Christian is tough. The first step in our relationship with God is saying we aren’t strong enough. That’s hard!

Interestingly, God is not only fighting our battle for us but also giving us armor and strength to fight as well (Psalm 91:1-16). He heals us, helps us, and works with us. He sent David out to fight Goliath (1 Samuel 17:1-58). He didn’t just drop a lightning bolt out of heaven to fry the giant. God knows we need to fight sometimes. I know that I need the fight. I need the validation of accomplishing the hard task. I want the exhilaration of the victory at my own hand. If someone fought all my battles for me, then I would wonder what they even need me to do. Why am I even here?

In the church, we often talk about “prayer warriors.” These are people who pray regularly and see God in action (Ephesians 6:12). Why do we even need prayer warriors? Shouldn’t God just act for those who follow him?

When God created the world, he created people to help care for it. God is perfectly capable of taking care of the universe without us, and yet he wanted mankind to tend his garden. Why? Because God wants us to help him, to work with him, just as a father asks his son to fix the fence with him. It’s bonding time and a teaching moment. God wants us to be more than robots, more than servants, more than even mere children drinking milk (Hebrews 6:1). He wants us to be dragon-slayers (Luke 10:19). We were made to fight battles and rescue the captives… just don’t go out there naked.

Check out my young adult fantasy fiction novels HERE for something optimistic and fun.

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